Resetting After Disappointment:
Resetting after disappointment is essential to achieving our goals and moving forward in life. I am just coming out of a complete shut down after massive disappointment in my business. Of course, there were other unexpected things that came up as well, that divided attention and had me running on fumes. Staying the course, and somehow keeping all the proverbial balls of life in the air was my only focus. I thought if I just kept my eye on the prize, all my efforts would be worth it. In reality, I was exhausting myself, but I kept going. When the prize didn’t materialize, all of the pressure I put on myself made the disappointment overwhelming.
This led to a total shut down in my motivation. I stopped my Social Media posts, blog posts, and YouTube Video production. I kept up with the bare minimum for my business. My motivation was so low, it was a challenge to keep up with house work, providing for my family, home schooling my kids, and working for my clients. My FM (Fibromyalgia) flared as I allowed my diet and exercise program to slip. It was also devastating for my confidence as a life coach, as all the tools I use to help others, suffered under the doubts I had about myself. Here is how I’m resetting after disappointment.
Great Expectations:
I had purchased and taken several courses on how to create a course and market it. It was so exciting! I had never done anything like this before, and the instructors were so confident in their “fool proof” methods that I figured I couldn’t fail. It was a no brainer, and I went for it. I developed a course, created the marketing plan, and followed it to a tee. From concept to up and running it was a very busy 3 months. When it flopped spectacularly, I was devastated. All my perfectionist tendencies, negative thinking, and fear of failure returned 10 fold!
Why didn’t it work? Why did no one want the course? What did I do wrong? How come all the success others had with the process didn’t happen for me? Marketing and sales have never been a strong point for me. I’ve had many jobs over my lifetime, and those that depended on Marketing and Sales had always been short lived. My mentors and training on Mindset and Confidence had led me to believe that there was no reason I couldn’t do it too! So ignoring my fear, I sallied forth and did it anyway.
The Fallout:
The fallout after the disappointing campaign was catastrophic. Yes the item is still for sale, and I will start promoting it again, but for the past month it’s been tough. No point sugar coating it, I let one thing after another fall to the way side. There were other unexpected life events that had to be dealt with during the launch. Although they didn’t stop the promotional plan I had in place, they did take an emotional toll on me.
Once the big promotion was done and the product went to full price, my energy was gone. My exhaustion was all encompassing, and one by one I let things go. Telling myself it didn’t matter anymore. As I slipped into depression, I allowed my diet and exercise regime to go. Of all the things in my life that I need the most, it’s my FM diet and exercise regime. Without them, my FM flares out of control. Now I had new challenges to recover from as my pain and symptoms returned.
The harshest of all the fallout, was the resurgence of the negative thoughts and mindset I had worked so hard to tame. Now I was dealing with all the demons I thought I had put to rest. Every day of not posting, not blogging, not exercising brought more guilt, more self condemnation, and less motivation. I knew what I had to do, I simply didn’t want to do it. I was stuck in the muck of apathy and self loathing. Consequently, keeping my head above the water was an increasingly challenging feat.
Deciding to Reset After Disappointment:
Resetting after disappointment only became possible when I decided that I wanted too. There’s that word again: DECIDE. Before you can move forward to have to decide to do it. My mentor reminded me today that it was my attachment to the outcome of my high expectations that has resulted in my deep disappointment. Furthermore, reframing my response to the outcome has allowed me to look at it from a different light. Even though the result wasn’t what I wanted, it didn’t kill me and therefore I can see this as a hard lesson learned.
I can find different ways to continue to market it, and not allow the failure of the launch to define me as a person. Just because the launch failed, doesn’t mean I’m a failure. I tried something new and I did make a few sales. I need to give myself the props for having the courage to put myself out there and do something completely outside my comfort zone. There are other courses I want to put together, and I will. Maybe not tomorrow, but I will try again and that’s what matters.
When I was in University I cross stitched a cartoon that was on the wall at work. Don’t Ever Give Up still hangs in my bedroom to this day. Even though I see it every day, I still need to be reminded to never give up!
Pressing The Reset Button:
So, after a months break, feels like more, I am finally ready to press the reset button and start again. No more beating myself up, no more admonitions for what I haven’t done, just picking up the pieces that I put down. Firstly, I will start doing one item at a time, one day at a time. Secondly, when I see it in my schedule I will do it, not ignore it. Thirdly, I will intentionally brain storm ideas for blogs and social media posts, so there is no shortage when it’s time to write. Fourthly, I will start journalling again to keep my negative thoughts at bay. Fifthly, I will make my FM diet and exercise regime a priority every day.
This is how you press reset. Pick your priorities and make them non negotiable. Choose three things before you go to bed at night that will get done the next day, do those things, and then congratulate yourself the next night when they are done. Start building momentum to prove to yourself what you are actually doing, so the things that aren’t done yet aren’t so scary. Allow God into your day when you get up, and thank Him at night for bringing you through at the end of the day. Decide that you won’t quit and just keep going!
If you need help with resetting after disappointment, reach out to me at andrea@nopainallgain.ca, and I’ll be happy to help you!
As a natural encourager, I live to help others!!! One-on-one coaching is a great way to start building your confidence, and improve your health! I help people with Fibromyalgia and chronic illness manage their symptoms with ease, so they never feel held back again! Click here for an application form and I would be happy to help you in your journey. Subscribe to my weekly newsletter by clicking here. You can also contact me at andrea@nopainallgain.ca or check out my website: www.nopainallgain.ca
