Changing your life can be just as beautiful as this glistening sea Ice pushing it’s way to the surface. How do you get such a stunning result? Well it’s very simple: changing your life starts with changing your thoughts. A quick google search will inform you that we have anywhere between 60,000 – 70,000 thoughts a day. These thoughts can be both positive and negative, and we get to choose which ones stay and which ones go. Choosing the right thoughts makes all the difference!
Changing your life through changing your thoughts:
So how exactly can you change your life by changing your thoughts? You do that by first becoming aware of the thoughts you are having, and choosing the ones that get to stay. Positive thoughts are the ones that get to stay, the negative ones are shown the door. Your body actually reacts differently to the positive thoughts than it does to negative ones. Positive thoughts make you feel empowered, happy, bold, courageous, joyous, and ready to take on the world! Negative thoughts make you feel deflated, dejected, doubtful, sad, and insignificant. Don’t believe me? Here are a couple of articles on how negative thoughts can effect you: Negative Thinking Can Affect Your Health by bbmasteradmin | June 29, 2015, and Damaging Effects of Negativity by Bree Maloney.
Take a look at these statements, and reflect on how they make you feel:
- “I just won a million dollars!!!”
- “Thieves just emptied my bank account, I have nothing left, I’ve lost everything!!!
These hypothetical statements are on the exact opposites of the spectrum, but I’m sure I’ve made my point. Just those simple thoughts in our brains provide us with the highest excitement and joy, or the lowest feelings of despair. It may come as a surprise to you, but even smaller, seemingly inconsequential thoughts can have the same effect. Telling yourself how “stupid” you are for making a simple mistake, starts you down a negative path that will effect you both emotionally and physically. Repeating that statement over and over will turn it into a belief that will start limiting you in all areas of your life.
How do I show the negative thoughts the door?
Once you become aware of the thoughts you are having, decide to only affirm the positive ones. When the negative ones appear, there are a number of ways to escort them out. Sometimes using one of them is enough to kick out a thought, other times you may need to combine them.
- Recognize they are not true.
- Reframe them.
- Tell them to go.
- Have affirmations ready to counter them.
- Ask your friends how they view you.
- Set a timer for negative thoughts.
Recognize that your thoughts aren’t true.
When a negative thought comes into your mind, no matter what the situation is, tell yourself that it’s not true. Even though the thought may seem true, you have the choice to allow it to stay or go. A thought is not true until you allow it to be. Your mind is an incredible machine that will provide you with proof that whatever you want to believe is true; if you look hard enough. So decide that you won’t support the negative view anymore. When your mind states that you are “stupid”, don’t entertain that thought. Responding with, “I’m not stupid, that’s a lie. I simply made a mistake that I can learn from. I will use this lesson to make a better decision next time.”
You may need to use this response over and over until your mind stops allowing the “stupid” thought from entering your mind. The good news is that eventually your mind will stop providing it. This will also stop the spiralling of negativity and self abuse. You would never call your child or loved one names like that, so why are you doing it to yourself? Nipping the negativity in the bud will allow you to neutralize the event, allowing you to move forward more quickly.
Changing your life by reframing your thoughts.
Reframing your thoughts involves taking a negative thought and turning it into something neutral or positive. The response I gave earlier is a reframing of the thought “I’m stupid”. Reframing is such a powerful tool to change your life, and it works with any thought that may come to your mind! By reframing your thought, you are neutralizing the power it has over you. You can then turn it into something even more positive, and boom, you’re on a new track to achieve the goals that you thought were impossible a minute ago!
Here are some examples of reframed thoughts:
- Thought: Money doesn’t grow on trees!
- Reframe: It may not grow on trees, but it’s readily available when I get creative!
- Thought: I don’t have the knowledge for my dream job.
- Reframe: I will get the training I need, and I’ll have my dream job in no time!
- Thought: I’m a nobody, who do I think I am to have that goal?
- Reframe: I am a child of God, and His masterpiece! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Does a reframe mean you’ll automatically get what you want? No, but it will put you in the frame of mind necessary to get you there. It gives you power to get creative and start believing that you can have what you want. Belief is what happens when you think a thought often enough to make it part of your being. We are striving to make our reframed thoughts into beliefs, so repeat these thoughts a million times if necessary!
Changing your life by telling negative thoughts to go!
Don’t have time to reframe your thoughts? Tell them to go! Yes, it’s as simple as that. “I don’t believe that anymore, go away!” That’s all it takes. If someone told you to go away, you would most likely go. Your thoughts will do the same. It’s when we keep thinking about a thought that keeps them in our mind. When I have a thought I just can’t shake, I’ll even go a step further. “Lord, I don’t want to think about this anymore, please take it away from me.” You know what, God always does.
These statements work because they break your train of thought. You have made the decision not to entertain them anymore, and that takes all the steam out of them. Once you pop their proverbial balloon, it’s easier to move on to something new. Another thing that works well is to say, “I’m not thinking about this anymore, I’m going to think about this instead.” Deciding to think about something else is a great way to get the old thought gone!
Have affirmations ready to counter them.
Affirmations are thoughts you’ve created ahead of time to create the thoughts and feelings you want to have. Affirmations and reframes are similar, but affirmations are the ones you have already decided you want in your life. The benefit of having affirmations ready to go, is that you won’t have to think about how to answer the negative thought. Your response will be automatic. You can have them in your phone, on post it notes, or write them out every day in your journal. Here are some examples:
- I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me. Philippeans 4:13
- I am smart, and can come up with a solution to any problem that arises.
- So what? This won’t kill me, and I’m going to get through this.
- I am a child of God, and therefore I am never alone.
- I can achieve anything as long as I don’t quit.
- I will never give up! (I actually made a cross stitch picture of this one.)
If you would like some affirmations or power phrases for your life, send me an email at acgamero16@gmail.com and I’d be happy to send you some.
Ask your friends how they view you.
This one may sound daunting, but it was a life changer for me. It’s very simple, ask 3-5 people (that you trust) to give you 3-5 words or sentences about what they like best about you. Yup, that’s it! You will be amazed at how others view you. I was stunned. I was so moved by what people responded with that I saved the responses, compiled them into a single decorative page, and printed them. At first I had to read them every day, but soon they were in my heart. Once they were in my heart, my thoughts about myself changed. Since I trusted their opinion, what they said held great value to me. Their thoughts proved my thoughts were wrong, which gave me permission to change what I believed about myself.
This activity has profound results, so if you do nothing else, be brave and do this one!
Set a timer when you’re down.
When your negative thoughts have overwhelmed you, set a timer. Set the timer for 10-15 minutes, and allow yourself to wallow. Once that timer goes off though, it’s over. You then start implementing the other steps above. You decide that the negative thought is not true, use an affirmation or reframe it, then tell the negative thought to go! Decide to think more constructive, positive thoughts. You can even set another timer to start coming up with solutions to the problem, new affirmations, or things you’d like to think instead!
In conclusion.
Changing your life is possible when you change your thoughts. It takes the same effort as it does for the sea ice to push it’s way up to the surface. You have to be determined, intentional, and willing to do what’s necessary to change. You need to consistently choose positive thoughts over negative ones, and be willing to switch them out as necessary. The result will be well worth the effort though, as your confidence, resiliency, and self worth grow too!
One-on-one coaching is a great way to start building your confidence, and improve your health! I offer confidence coaching, health & lifestyle coaching, and exercise coaching. Click here for an application form and I would be happy to help you in your journey. You can also contact me at acgamero16@gmail.com or check out my website: www.nopainallgain.ca
