Progression Not Perfection.
As a recovering perfectionist, I need to constantly remind myself that I’m on the road of progression not perfection. What does that even mean? That means that my goal is not perfection, but progressing towards being the best that I can be. This new perspective takes all the pressure off, as it allows me to work on being 1% better or closer to my goal than I was yesterday. I realize that this is a totally new concept to most perfectionists out there, so allow me to elaborate further on why this minor change in perspective can make all the difference.
Why Progression Not Perfection?
The simple answer to this is that no human being on earth has ever been perfect except one; Jesus. Since the only person to be perfect was Jesus, and He was also 100% God as well, it is obvious that no human could ever will be perfect. As we do not contain any percentage of God in us, we cannot be perfect. If we could be perfect on our own, we would not need Jesus to die for our sins. Our goal as Christians is to let Jesus into our hearts, and adopt His character a little bit more every day. We will never be perfect, but the closer we get to being like Him the better and happier the world will be.
Let’s all breathe a sigh of relief knowing we can let go of the idea that perfection is possible! Once we accept that fact, we can then examine the idea of progression.
What Is Progression?
The idea of progression is that you are moving forward to being the best you can be. We do this by setting goals for who we want to be and accomplish in this world. If You want to be a world renowned concert pianist, then you decide to practise every day until you reach your goal. When you start learning piano you learn about middle C, and every day you add one more note. Then you learn about key signatures, time signatures, sharps, flats, chords, rhythm, theory, and eventually even how to use the pedals! You don’t just start playing Mozart’s sonatas on your first day. It takes time, progressing to new concepts with every lesson. Your goal is to master what you’ve learned so you are better than you were yesterday.
Our personal and professional growth is the same. Every day we work to be better than we were yesterday. You get to decide what percentage you want to be better, but as long as you are 1% better than yesterday, you are getting closer to your goal! This concept was incredibly freeing for me, as it released me from the need to be perfect, to never make a mistake, or disappoint my family and friends. As long as I learn from my mistakes and put what I’ve learned into practice, then I’m being the best I can be.
Being Your Best Vs Being Perfect
Some of you may think I’m just mincing words and that “being your best” and “being perfect” are the same general concepts. According to the definitions below, there is a great difference in being without fault or defect, and giving your all into what you love to do.
According to this article by Lily Low, titled This Is What It Actually Means To Be ‘The Best’ – Thought.is: Being “the best” is you giving your all into what you love to do, every single day. Being “the best” is allowing yourself to try, to fall, and to rise again. Being “the best” is striving toward your goals to the best of your abilities but knowing when it is time to stop.
On the other hand, the Miriam Webster dictionary defines being perfect as: being entirely without fault or defect: flawless.
Why Do We Cling To Perfection?
I can’t speak for everyone, but it took a lot of work to call myself a recovering perfectionist. The concept of progression not perfection is something I learned from my mentor Trish Blackwell. I still slip back into it from time to time, as I want things to be done “right”, but my recovery times gets faster every time! We live in a society that applauds so called “perfection”, awarding the fastest, prettiest, and smartest. Most of us have a default setting deep within us that hates disappointing others. We all want to be loved, and can be afraid we will lose the regard of others if we don’t reach their standards. High standards are a good thing, but we need to recognize when those standards just aren’t attainable.
This is where we can decide to embrace not caring what other people think. I was in my late 40’s when I was able to finally break the cycle of caring about what people thought of me, and stop demanding perfection from myself. Realizing that perfection was not possible for anyone allowed me to stop demanding it of myself. I knew what I was doing wasn’t perfect, and beat myself up for falling short. Now when those thoughts come up, I can recognize them as unattainable. I can then congratulate myself for doing my best and in my progress towards attaining my goals.
Quick tip: as long as you don’t quit, you will reach your goals.
In Conclusion:
Perfectionism is not attainable, so I challenge you to try something different: progression. Work on being just 1% better than you were yesterday, and you will discover a much better way to live. Letting go of perfectionistic tendencies will lower your stress level and give you a much happier life. You will be able to congratulate yourself for your progress, instead of beat yourself up for not attaining perfection. Join the club of recovering perfectionists, you’ll be glad you did!!!
Click here for the Progression Not Perfection Video.
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