I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Who hasn’t seen a celebrity strutting down the red carpet with a figure-hugging outfit and not wondered how they have the courage to do that?
Confidence is not something that only a few elite individuals get to have; it is something available to all of us.
“Oh, but you don’t understand I’m too shy, too heavy, too short, too tall, too insignificant to have that kind of confidence,” you may say.
That may have been your experience from the past, but that doesn’t need to be your present or your future. We all have little insecurities that keep us from making bold moves like wearing those red high heel shoes in the back of your closet, or that dress that may be a little too short, or applying for that job because there are so many more qualified than you…and the list goes on.
The Confidence Podcast
My confidence journey started in August of 2020, while I was still struggling with severe depression and anxiety. I was pleading with God to help me find a natural way to get past the depression and anxiety, as the medications I was on were taking their toll and I was in the process of getting off them. God answered those prayers through an advertisement for Trish Blackwell’s The Confidence Podcast, and the College of Confidence on my Christian radio station. The cheerful voice on the radio gave me incredible encouragement that I was not alone, and that she could help me get past the doubts and discouragement that engulfed me. Trish hooked me from the moment I listened to the first episode. She spoke to my soul with her faith-based principles and uplifting practical methods to re-frame my thoughts from negativity to positivity.
Embracing that I was God’s masterpiece
She helped me to stop caring what other people thought about me. I had heard the bible verse a hundred time that said I was “God’s Masterpiece”, but I never really believed it. It was when she said that when we put ourselves down, we are putting God down that I finally realized what I was doing to myself and Him. Every time I said, “I was useless, worthless, not good enough,” I was actually calling God a liar!
This realization stunned me. Jesus is my best friend, and I know He does not lie; never has, and never will! That is when I realized I had to stop insulting myself, because I didn’t want to dishonor God and what Jesus does for me on a daily basis. This realization did what cognitive therapy and counseling had not. My depression started to lift once I recognized that society no longer held the power to tell me what I was worth. Jesus said otherwise, and His truth was all that mattered.
Through my work in the COC, my depression is completely in the rear-view mirror now, and I’m so grateful that I have to tools to keep it that way.
There are many ways to start improving your confidence, but the two that helped me the most are re-framing your thoughts, and journaling.
The importance of re-framing your thoughts
The tools Trish introduced opened my mind in a way it had never been before. Your Confidence is based on your self-worth. Learning that my self-worth should be rooted in what God says about me changed my life. It doesn’t matter what I do, or what society says about me. God says I am worthy, therefore I am. Simple as that. From there I was able to start appreciating the gifts that God gave me and start using them for Him. It didn’t matter what the gossips in my life had to say, it only mattered what God had to say. I was able to find some incredible re-frames to help me talk back to the negative thoughts that attacked me on a regular basis.
The most potent of these was the simple phrase, “So what?”. “So what if people laughed at me?” It may be uncomfortable in the moment, but it wasn’t going to kill me. “So what if I didn’t make it to that gathering?” Again, life wasn’t going to end if someone was upset with me for not going, or not doing something they wanted me to do. In the end the only opinions that mattered were God’s and mine. God only wants the best for us, so He isn’t going to force us to do things we really don’t want to do. It was amazing how quickly my anxiety was reduced by replacing all the “what if’s” in my life with “so what?”
This new phrase made me bolder in my actions, and I stopped worrying about what might happen. I realized that with God’s help, I could deal with anything that came my way and it has been liberating.
So, what is re-framing your thoughts?
Re-framing your thoughts is taking your negative thought and looking at it objectively. Look at the thought and see if there is any truth to it and if it is really helping you in that moment. There may be a sliver of truth to it, but by re-framing it you can change that thought to something neutral or something that can propel you forward to changing your whole mindset in a positive direction.
For example: your negative thought could be “I’m never going to get this all done.” You may have a lot to do, but this thought will not help motivate you to get started on your task list. This thought will cause you to pull the blankets back over your head and not get out of bed. A more proactive thought would be, “I have a lot on my list today, but I know I can do it because I’ve done it before.” Here’s another helpful thought: “I have a busy day today, so the sooner I get started, the sooner I will be done.” Or the one I use the most in this situation is “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13
By re-framing your thoughts, and this is a constant practice, you start replacing your negative thought patterns with new positive thoughts that start to pop up more often than the negative ones. This can be a slow process, but with a coach encouraging you along the way, it is achievable.
Journaling
Journaling also doesn’t need to take up a lot of time. A simple and quick way to journal at night is to do a gratitude journal with 3 things you are grateful for from the day, 3 wins for today (things you accomplished), 3 wins or things you want to accomplish tomorrow, and an affirmation of how you will approach the next day. In the morning you can write down the first thought of the day, a re-frame for that thought (if it was negative), and an affirmation for how you will succeed that day.
It only takes two minutes
These honestly take no more than two minutes, and they will not only change your sleep that night, but also the success of the next day. Doing this at night helps me sleep better, because my mind knows I won’t forget anything. Everything that needs to be done is now on paper, giving me permission to sleep. When I do this in the morning my whole day runs smoother, since I’ve removed the negative thoughts so they can no longer drag me down. Even if you forget to do this first thing in the morning, you can take a quick two-minute break and do it on your phone. Just try it, you’ll be amazed at how your day will turn around!
The importance of journaling
One of the most powerful tools to grow your confidence is journaling. This is not keeping a diary of everything you ate and did in the day, but a way to recognize your negative thoughts, where they are coming from, and how to remove them from your life. Knowing where they are coming from allows you to really look at them and see if they are still valid today. Do you really need to allow the voices of your 8-year-old friends still effect your choices today? Does that one embarrassing encounter you had at the grade 8 school dance really deserve to have the power it does when you are in social situations today? Probably not.
We need to put those experiences into context, thank them for what they taught us, and let them go. Journaling allows you to put all that onto paper so it no longer takes up the valuable real estate in your mind.
The College of Confidence
I continued to binge listen to The Confidence Podcast for several month before I dove in and joined The College of Confidence in November of 2020, and boy was I glad I did. Although I was nervous to ask my husband to add the expense to our budget, he said yes right away because he had seen the changes in me since I had started listening to the podcast. Trish calls the College of Confidence “the most encouraging place on the internet,” and she is right! My depression kept me far away from social media, but when I finally joined the private Facebook group she offers, I was blown away by the kind members that knew what I was going through and were so generous with words of encouragement.
The College of Confidence includes live weekly group workshops, the private Facebook group, and tons of courses and workshop replays that you can watch at your convenience. These workshops deal with issues like body image, relationships, perfectionism, self-worth, getting what you want, time management, teaching children confidence, and so much more! If you are interested in being in a community of positive people working on go after their dreams, then you should definitely check out the following link www.collegeofconfidence.com.
Improving my self-worth
I was blown away at how my confidence and self-worth improved from week to week in The College of Confidence. In the spring of 2021, Trish was looking for interns to help her manage and grow the COC. I recognized this opportunity as a gift from God, since office administration just happened to be my forte. God blessed me immensely when Trish took me on as one of her interns; taking notes for her workshops amongst other tasks. By taking notes for all her workshops, I felt like I was learning at the feet of the master.
It has been an amazing experience to hear her words of encouragement and the incredible advice she gives the members in the workshops. Her tools are so amazing in themselves, but hearing her apply them to individual situations and being able to see the changes in the lives of the members has been life changing.
The Internship
The internship provided me with the opportunity to give advice to members who submitted questions on the website and in the Facebook group. This also helped to grow my confidence as I helped others. I quickly learned that it fed my soul helping others in this way, and decided that I wanted to help in whatever capacity God sent my way. In December of 2021, Trish hired me on as her virtual executive assistant and I haven’t looked back. Being part of the College of Confidence has not only strengthened my own confidence, but given me many great tools that I use on a daily basis with my husband, children, and friends.
In December of 2022, I realized that I wanted to help coach others so they could experience the same amazing changes in their lives that I had experienced. In January of 2023 I started my own coaching business with my first client.
Starting your own confidence journey
One-on-one coaching is a great way to start building your confidence, and improve your health! I offer confidence coaching, health & lifestyle coaching, and exercise coaching. Click here for an application form and I would be happy to help you in your journey. You can also contact me at acgamero16@gmail.com or check out my website: www.nopainallgain.ca
Joining the College of Confidence is easy, just click here: www.collegeofconfidence.com/join
Start listening to The Confidence Podcast by clicking the following links:
https://podkite.link/sOZcr5P or visit http://www.trishblackwell.com
